Moustache Category

Movember 1^st is fast approaching.  I’ve dedicated these last few days to being 100% cleanly shaven.  It’s a look that will soon be a thing of the past, but when the hour comes, I will be primed and ready.  Over the past two months I’ve committed to a few test runs of the moustache.  One, in particular was for the MO’ Cowbell Half Marathon on October 7^th.  One would think with an event name like MO’ Cowbell, moustaches would be mandatory, but alas, I was one of the few with a Fu Manchu. 

After taking a couple of moustache test drives, I’ve discovered that I don’t look particularly good sporting facial hair dedicated solely to my upper lip.  Not a necessarily abysmal look, but far from fantastic.  After some thought, I’m trying to find the appropriate category for how I pull off “the ‘stache”.  

The Creep:  Thank goodness I don’t look like this guy (at least I hope not).  I imagine that one would have an inventory of gold jewelry and wear Bring It! body spray to be considered creepy.  I neither own any gold jewelry, nor wear cologne.  I gave both up in my prepubescent years.

 

 

The Badass:  Nor can I consider myself a badass like St. Louis Rams head coach, Jeff Fisher(video link), who can make a grown man wet his pants merely by raising an eyebrow.

 

 

The Lady Killer:  I don’t necessarily think the women of the baby boom swoon at the sight of my under-nose forest, the effect Tom Selleck has had on the women for decades.  Tom, I will never be the chick magnet you ever were.

It’s likely that my moustache could be considered in the class of not quite pulling it off, but good effort.  One thing is for sure, I will be going all out.  As my wonderful wife will attest, I rarely do anything in moderation; in fact, I’ve even dedicated my Halloween pumpkin to one of my favorite moustache wielding personas, Ron Swanson.  I expect great things from my upcoming moustache, and the moustaches of my fellow Movember Mo’ Bros.  I’m counting down the hours – exciting times await!

"Give me all the bacon and eggs you have."

 

Cheers,

Brian

As Movember approaches, it is hard not to be inspired by the amount of facial hair we see swirling about.  Look no further than the MLB Playoffs, and our very own Saint Louis Cardinals.  Playoff beards abound!  Jason Motte has a beard so thick I am convinced he is Zac Brown, of Zac Brown Band fame.  Think about it.  Have you ever seen the two of them together in the same room?  I didn’t think so.  He is very versatile, disguising himself with clever hats and fake glasses.

There are other perfectly acceptable reasons for a beard, too.  And they work!  For example, I am structuring mine to enhance my chances of success in a whitetail deer hunt in Washington State this weekend.   The hunting beard is said to increase odd of a successful harvest anywhere from 13 – 27%  Compelling numbers!

For more science, consider Midwest Moustache Alliance team member, Brian Lyons.  He was carried to victory at the recent MO’ Cowbell Half Marathon in St. Charles, MO by a stunning fu manchu.  When asked how it affected his performance, he said, “Without it, I might not have finished at all.”  There it is, from the moustachioed mouth of a champion.

So you see, friends, the case has been made clearly.  In order to boost your Fall lifestyle performances, consider donning a beard or moustache.  Call it practice for the real deal in a mere 14 days.  Don’t forget, October 31^st is Shaveoween.  Start with a clean canvas on Movember 1^st and do your part to change the face of men’s health.

If you’ll join the MMA team to help us raise dollars and awareness for serious health issues impacting men, head over to www.movember.com and get signed up.  We would love to have your support.

Grow a ‘mo.

Brandon