The Midwest Moustache Alliance is shaping up nicely after
the great Eve of ShaveOween.
Let’s highlight the team.
Travis “TL RUN RUN” Liles hails from Illinois. He typically sports a clean dome to reduce
his coefficient of drag during excessively long bouts of running. He is a die-hard model airplane aficionado, and
excels at blind-folded origami (2-time Tri County Champ – ’03,’05). Travis promises to deliver dynamite upper lip
growth, fueled by what he calls the “all spinach, all the time” diet.
Nathan Chase
is a born and raised Missourian. Claiming to be 1/17th Native
American, Nathan owes his penchant for living off the land to his tribal heritage. Also, he will DVR Gonzaga University
basketball games and watch them multiple times like he’s never seen them
before. With a Movember’s worth of
moustache growth, Nathan hopes it will even be noticeable.
Brian Lyons is another Missouri-bred man’s man. Rarely without a glow suggestive of having
cranked out 500 hundred pushups, his passion for health and fitness is
contagious. Brian thinks that Sex
Panther really works “because of the real bits of panther. Duh!” He eschews the traditional microwave cooking
method and would rather barbeque his oatmeal each morning.
Brandon Janosky grew up in Spokane, WA where moustaches were commonplace. An inspiring lumberjack at 8 years old, he committed the next six years of his life to only wearing flannel and brandishing a double-sided axe. It can be argued that during this phase of his life, Brandon inspired the “grunge” look that many bands took to in the early 90’s. Brandon’s daily diet and exercise regimen exudes his passion for health and fitness. A combination of a daily 12 mile run followed by a bike ride on the grass “because its harder” all while strapped into a parachute makes this man’s moustache grow. He’s also a Malt-o-meal man, because as he puts it, “Cream of Wheat is for pansies.”
Jake Menard, my brother-in-law, is originally from
Minnesota, but finds himself living in God’s Country, Washington State these
days. Always one to rock a goatee in
recent years, he has committed to defy that longstanding tradition and grow a
moustache to help fight cancer. When he
isn’t busy teaching his 3 young daughters the finer points of a quality
leg-sweep or helmet-to-helmet contact, he unwinds by taking strenuous 8-hr
professional exams. This is often
followed by a Guinness or three.
Brian Rodenbeck is a heavily-credentialed all-around athlete
who trains throughout the year and claims to be 100% waterproof. His competitors have accused him of sleeping
in a simulated altitude tent. In addition to growing a moustache in the name
of men’s health, Brian said, “I’d like to push the limits of my handsomeness
and really take my boyish good looks to another level.”
Kyle Cameron has spent most of his life fetching things on
the top shelf for those who are vertically challenged and is often asked, “How’s
the weather up there?” Movember and Midwest Moustache Alliance
brings an exciting change of pace for Kyle, as he will be our “highest”
fundraiser. “I’m really thrilled to be a part of MMA and raising
awareness for men’s health initiatives.” Kyle stated in a recent interview: “I’ve
never grown facial hair in my life, and have actually been more focused on removing
my moustache. It’s quite chilly with my head near the stratosphere.
I believe a moustache will be the sweater my upper lip has always
needed.”
Steve Pollihan is no stranger to a proper beard, goatee, or
‘stache. But this time around, he’s
dedicating his face to the fabled moustache.
Once this ultra-running badass completes serving his 6th
consecutive term as Webster Groves’ Sexiest Artist, he plans to attempt a
handle bar moustache world record, much to his wife’s chagrin. In his words, “I
was meant for moustaches, and moustaches were meant for me.” Such eloquence!
